Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
