in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
