i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
