Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
