where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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