i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
