I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
