were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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