My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
