walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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