so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
