in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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