You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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