Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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