So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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