I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
