Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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