i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
