Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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