it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
