We're facebook friends in real life
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
