Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
