Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize