You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
