yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
