i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
