He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
