You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
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he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
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They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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