You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
