I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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