well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.