you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.