so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.