Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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