His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
