Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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