it wasn't lemon gatorade
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
