I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
