I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
