White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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