I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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