He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
