Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
