Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
