I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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