I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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