Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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