I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
ugly people sure do ruin things
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
did you just send me my own nude
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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