i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
