Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
