your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
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