I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
