gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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