Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
