Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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