i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There was a lot of him and a little penis
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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