I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
