these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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