idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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