This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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