she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize