In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
