Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
