worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
